BEE ATTACK! Holy Moley, aaaaarrgh!

Darn it, I neglected to get to the hives early enough this spring, and had two of them swarm in the last week (which I did capture because they stopped low enough on branches I could reach)  Those two safely put in boxes, I had intended on doing all the hives today. Today did not wait for me.

The box, the tree, the bees

I have 6 stings, two on my head (the worst ones), and various other parts, and a big headache.  I knew when I got up this morning that I really just needed to drink coffee and fool with the blog.  Now I’m fooling with the blog after the fact. Two Benadryl tablets and Denvers Sting Stopper are helping a little. (update 1 hour later a lot)

I went out with my coffee to look at the hives, just look. Oops, another one was in the process of making a swarm tornado around their hive.  This, I must note, was one of my peaceful hives of bees, very mild natured.

Onward with the story . . .

I thought, to myself, “Dangit, I can’t do anything about it now, I’ll just have to wait for them to light somewhere and then I’ll get them if they’re low enough.”  I then went back into the house.  I hate worrying about something that I can’t control anyway, and I wanted my coffee.  I wasn’t even awake quite yet.

My hub, who is vigilant about these things kept going outside and checking.  He finally came back inside and informed me that they had lit in a tree, OVER THE SHED.  THE TALL SHED.  THE SLIPPERY METAL ROOFED SHED.  I went to look and sure enough they were on a tree branch above the roof.  I estimated if I stood on the peak of the roof and reached up they would still be two feet over my hand.

NOW the theme song to JAWS starts to play in my head.

This is how high it was

My husband, always good with ideas, starts telling me how to do it.  And I’m-a-thinkin’ that I don’t want to do it.  But I get ready to do it anyway.  I prepare a hive bottom, with all the fixin’s but get a cardboard box to take up to the roof at his suggestion.  I am not strong enough to carry a wood box up there. He holds the ladder and I go up with the box and no suit. I repeat, I did this with no suit (stupid, stupid, stupid, stupid)I needed something to pull the branch down so I could shake the bees into the box, so he got me a hoe to do it with.  Little by little, step by step I slid myself on my hip to the peak of the roof.  Now the JAWS music is getting louder.  It is really slippery, but I am trying to position the box and I can’t get a bead on whether it’s right under the bees.

I shakily stand up and put the hoe over the end of the branch.  I look at the box.  I give it a big, sharp, SHAKE!

All of a sudden the bees fell into part of the box.  Only 1/16th of them fell into the box, the rest fell beside the box. Dang, the box was out of position.

And suddenly I was in a tornado of really angry bees and they were attacking all of my UN-suited body!  Boom! Just like that I was trying to get off that roof, the slippery roof.  I tumbled over and slid almost off the edge, grabbing the top of the ladder, which was not close to me, and tipping it out of alignment with the roof.  My husband, who was at the bottom quickly grabbed the ladder and dragged both it and me back into position as I scrambled down it unceremoniously (did I spell that right?)  Oh, who cares about spelling, I’m traumatized.

I almost fell down that ladder while being stung multiple times by a tornado of really pissed bees.  I mean REALLY.

But I made it down the ladder.  He also got stung because they followed me down that ladder and all the way to the house.  My forehead, wrist, cheek, legs, ankles, I dunno where all else. The JAWS music has stopped.  I done been TACKKED!

Attacked by swarming bees which most people will tell you are not stingy. On the other hand, it’s a toss up who attacked who first.  I’m sure my approach was the first blow. So maybe the reality is that I attacked them and they just defended themselves.

So, after my HUB, told me that I should have done it a different way.  I should have, and that’s for sure.  He did try to tell me when I was climbing up the ladder another way, but I was shaky and not about to stop. The bees are back on the branch, and he is right now trying to tell me how I can do it.

Mah Stunged Eye

Personally, I’m having second thoughts about bees, but that’s in the heat of the moment because I wrote this just 30 minutes after the incident.  He’s talking about finishing the job, and I’m telling him I would rather talk about it after breakfast.  He’s so positive and up about things. And very brave for staying and grabbing the ladder instead of running off to keep from being himself stung.

(He does love me . . . I THINK)  Just hit me, just slap me for goodness sake. I’m way too old for this shit. My head hurts.